So, I found this post quite difficult to put together… There’s so much to express and share!
After welcoming Eden into our family last year, back in August – we thought our family was complete. Both my husband and I only wanted two kids – mostly for financial reasons, we just never even really considered having 3 kids. Since I also experienced postnatal depression (read about it here) I just felt like I was done. I had thought, I can’t imagine going through this again (having another baby) The sleep deprivation, the nappies, the breastfeeding etc.
I was on antidepressants from November last year and in April I decided that I wanted to wean off of them. I was feeling a lot better and since I was no longer breastfeeding and Eden was actually sleeping like a champ, I felt a lot less anxious and I knew I would be fine. So, with go-ahead from my doctor, I weaned off. Bear in mind – the medication alters your hormones, so I hadn’t had a period since Eden was conceived back in November 2016! (WOW) So after 8 weeks I had weaned off the medication and I carried on as normal. Only, my period didn’t return. Last year when Eden was born the doctor removed a whole bunch of cysts that he found during the C-section, so I was really concerned in early July when my period hadn’t come back, that the cysts had returned.
I randomly decided the one day to go to the doc and make sure everything was fine. Blood tests and examinations later, she mentioned the possibility of pregnancy and I expressed my hope that I wasn’t pregnant. The next day I got a call and the doctor said, “are you sitting down”… I knew… Oh… my… goodness… this is happening. As soon as I hung up the phone, I cried – completely overwhelmed and fearful of the unknown. Dave came home and I told him… he thought I was joking, then he realised I wasn’t and he laughed. I didn’t expect him to have that reaction and it completely made me stop. and realise – everything will be ok.
My initial reaction had been completely out of selfishness and in my own strength. Then I realised that God, the creator of heaven and earth, the creator of this little life – is in control. Nothing takes him by surprise. This may not have been our plan, but it is in His plan. I have been wanting to start my own freelance business for years and this felt like it was throwing a spanner in the works, but to be honest – God is able to provide, when things seem impossible, God is able. That has given me so much comfort, joy and peace. I know that even if there are difficult times financially, God will sustain us and He will always be faithful. I can now sit back and enjoy this journey, enjoy this new adventure and know that this baby was meant to be. We are super excited to have another baby. Even though it means going back to square one – both girls are in a super good routine, we like our sleep… but again – we will survive! haha. I still plan on going freelance, we are just waiting for the details to be ironed out, but God’s timing is amazing – I will get to work from home and be with the kiddies and get to soak it all up.
Although we didn’t expect this, pregnancy, motherhood and everything that comes with that is such a blessing. I am so grateful for this life that is growing. So, no… we were not trying to have another baby, we did not plan this, but God did, so I’m happy to get a blessing, bonus baby. Also, I’m grateful that when we went for our scan, there was just ONE… Can you imagine going from 2 to 4… So, hence when baby is born next year, I will get my tubes tied. Three and DONE!
I am going to keep you all updated with pregnancy updates, bump pics, cravings etc. I will hopefully do a trimester update for each one. I’m so excited… even though pregnancy is not all roses and glowing… haha!